Thursday, October 20, 2011
10/20/11
darkness cloaks the burning embers
nothing but sky above
pushing dying bones closer to the grave
nothing but sky above
pushing dying bones closer to the grave
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
All sales final.
This thing suffers from some kind of mental constipation. I tell myself that I will sit down to drum up some new material and it's the follow-through where things tend to fall apart. Truth be told, all it would take is one good post about any given day and then follow it the next day with "Ditto." That's taking the easy way out, but it is not too far from the truth. If cleanliness is next to godliness, then ditto is next to the truth. Both are many doors down from cleanliness.
Perhaps one day the natural flow of ideas will once again spring from the noggin like waiting for a highway rest stop after consuming a Big Gulp. The dam will hopefully one day burst and until that happens, you're stuck with this kind of crapola. Typing shit and saying nothing.
I guess you get what you pay for so be thankful that this thing is free. Otherwise, all sales are final.
Perhaps one day the natural flow of ideas will once again spring from the noggin like waiting for a highway rest stop after consuming a Big Gulp. The dam will hopefully one day burst and until that happens, you're stuck with this kind of crapola. Typing shit and saying nothing.
I guess you get what you pay for so be thankful that this thing is free. Otherwise, all sales are final.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
April 14, 2011
It was one of those days often best forgotten. In the moment, that really isn't an option until time has its way with the memory and the distinct details get smudged and blurred like some kind of Impressionist art.
Attending a local Chamber of Commerce breakfast event and getting to rub elbows with bona fide movers and the obligatory shakers that always seem to latch onto the movers is not my idea of a good way to start the day. By and large, I was letting the words wash over me without seeping into the mind too much and just waiting for the mass exodus to the door.
Paroled.
The workday was largely spent repressing the urge to tell many people to leave me alone before escalating to a full-blown shut the fuck up outburst. It never reached either level except within the confines of my skull. Both phrases are still ricocheting around my head even though I am sitting alone ready to pull the plug on today.
Tomorrow, I am thinking that I should cut right to the chase and listen to Slayer right out of the gate.
Attending a local Chamber of Commerce breakfast event and getting to rub elbows with bona fide movers and the obligatory shakers that always seem to latch onto the movers is not my idea of a good way to start the day. By and large, I was letting the words wash over me without seeping into the mind too much and just waiting for the mass exodus to the door.
Paroled.
The workday was largely spent repressing the urge to tell many people to leave me alone before escalating to a full-blown shut the fuck up outburst. It never reached either level except within the confines of my skull. Both phrases are still ricocheting around my head even though I am sitting alone ready to pull the plug on today.
Tomorrow, I am thinking that I should cut right to the chase and listen to Slayer right out of the gate.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
middle-aged daydream of the last great adventure
Instead of fantasizing about supermodels frolicking on the hoods of sports cars or winning the Super Bowl, I often daydream about walking out the door one day without saying a word to anyone and just continuing walking with no set destination in mind. Pick a random direction and commence the journey with no possessions except a carbonated beverage, maybe two. Keep walking into the great unknown until I settle down to die in some drainage ditch or overgrown wooded area in some undisclosed location.
In the meantime, I have got to find some decent walking shoes and some fluffy socks.
In the meantime, I have got to find some decent walking shoes and some fluffy socks.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
January 20...a random outburst of photography
When it was worthy of taking some pictures and before it got dangerous...
Monday, January 17, 2011
sludge
There are days when I would like nothing more than to give everything away, quit everything else, and walk into the world blindly. Nothing to encumber my steps and slow down my trajectory except overwhelming fear and the weight of the world on my shoulders and soul.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
crossing over
Like a lot of folks, I can honestly say that 2010 was a challenge. Looking back at it objectively, I truly did not suffer the brutality that many friends experienced and yet, 2010 was amazingly difficult. While the bigger things missed me for the most part and I am extremely thankful for this fact, the smaller things nearly did me in several times over.
There were times throughout the year when I truly wanted to wave the white flag and simply give up, because I didn't know where to turn, who to trust, and what to do. Things became blurred, facts became lies and there were no concrete answers in sight.
While I could very easily point the accusing finger at others, I take the blame for allowing others to twist my perspective and taint facts with things less than factual. Who's to say what is real anymore and does it really matter in the first place? Probably not.
What I can say is that I am truly surprised that I made it through the year. In some ways, I am probably a little disappointed that I did. This is especially true on those days when I feel like I was being attacked from every conceivable angle including from within.
Rather than go off on a long-winded blues jam, I just hope that 2011 gives me the strength and the clarity to see the goodness and just because someone claims to be a friend doesn't mean that they have my best interests and feelings in their heart. I hope that for the first time in a long time that I can feel something vaguely resembling peace and allow a blackened, dead soul to live again.
To anyone that finds themselves reading this, I wish you well and may God bless you with a vast amount of goodness and may your smile light the world.
There were times throughout the year when I truly wanted to wave the white flag and simply give up, because I didn't know where to turn, who to trust, and what to do. Things became blurred, facts became lies and there were no concrete answers in sight.
While I could very easily point the accusing finger at others, I take the blame for allowing others to twist my perspective and taint facts with things less than factual. Who's to say what is real anymore and does it really matter in the first place? Probably not.
What I can say is that I am truly surprised that I made it through the year. In some ways, I am probably a little disappointed that I did. This is especially true on those days when I feel like I was being attacked from every conceivable angle including from within.
Rather than go off on a long-winded blues jam, I just hope that 2011 gives me the strength and the clarity to see the goodness and just because someone claims to be a friend doesn't mean that they have my best interests and feelings in their heart. I hope that for the first time in a long time that I can feel something vaguely resembling peace and allow a blackened, dead soul to live again.
To anyone that finds themselves reading this, I wish you well and may God bless you with a vast amount of goodness and may your smile light the world.
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