Herd Mentality.

As an adult firmly in my twilight years, it has been many, many years since I've had anyone attempt to tell me what I will wear. While I admittedly don't make the most sound fashion decisions, I really don't require assistance in this department. Really. I don't. Like most other trends, fashion isn't even a blip on my radar and I really couldn't care less what is in this season or what other people are wearing. That's how bell bottoms happened, not once but twice. No, thank you.

Perhaps this is why I find the concept of a co-worker (and non-boss) making the decision for everyone that we will wear a designated shirt and the dreaded khaki pants on a specific day to be absolutely ludicrous. Khaki...bland, boring color for bland, boring people. This whole turn of events reeks of conspiracy. However, most conspiracies have some element that teeters on the cusp of making sense. It might not actually sling itself over that hump, but damned if it doesn't give it the old school try.

This kind of fashion synchronicity might make sense for a special event, where our group intermingles and infiltrates the unwashed masses with unwashed asses. However, it just seems to border on cult activity any other time, unless french fries are being served as a side order. Trust me, I have worked here since the beginning of time and we've served nary a french fry in all of that time. Otherwise, it seems like one step away from mutual castration and wrapping ourselves in a purple shroud before trying to thumb a ride on a UFO behind a comet. I guess I should at least be happy that it's a purple shroud and not khaki in nature. If this is how it has to be, then just give me my cup of tainted Kool-Aid (Flavor-Aid, to be historically correct) and leave me the hell alone. Please.

The purpose of this synchronized dressing, like some kind of neo-Diana Ross & The Supremes? A new television commercial to pimp the workplace to specific unwashed masses with television-viewing asses.

First of all, it's not like any of us was going to be featured in the advert in the first place. We had already chosen our on-air talent (or victims, depending upon your perspective). Secondly, it would look completely stupid for everyone to be wearing the same t-shirt and the same color of pants in a shot.

Even though I do my best to perpetually stray from the herd and it's lame-brained ideas, conformity seems to be happening entirely too often for my tastes these days, especially because it always seems to involve some form of khaki clothing. Those people that actually pull the strings of the powers-that-be seem to really get off on their khaki and they must work themselves into a froth over making everyone else follow their lead to bland and boring. It's an undiagnosed khaki fetish or something. Believe me, there are a lot better fetishes and fixations out there, folks.

All I know is that if I wanted this crap, I'd work in a fast food joint, join a gang, or follow the trends like every other jackass that needs someone else to think for them. This is how and why amazingly hollow trends become phenomenons. It's herd mentality in all of its glory. There is no safety in these numbers, because those in the crowd are often as dumb as a sack of hammers.

Besides, the herd often gets loaded on a truck and taken off to be slaughtered. If that is going to happen to me, I want to go it alone because I don't want to spend my closing moments with a bunch of dumb shits. I'd also prefer that it not involve mutual castration and without some clueless nitwit telling me what to wear.