The rain reminds me of you
Your defiance to walk into it all without an umbrella
Somehow, it’s becoming on you
Don’t ask me to describe it, just agree with me on this one
Some people can get away with it and look none the worse for wear
Others are crumbled to a grimy reside in the puddles
The grating sound of a leaf blower cuts through everything and slices into what’s left of my inner peace. Why don’t you take that thing, shove it up your ass, and blow your mind. Can’t we all just get along? Fuck you.
Beat me over the head with your foam-covered bat
Beat me senseless until I fall to the floor in a fit of laughter
Until the blood flows like a high pressure washer and the body works overtime to keep up
Please excuse the spittle and traces of blood on the foam
Consider it a token of my appreciation
You may have to get it dry cleaned so send me the bill
I’m good for it
I promise
I’ll return the favor when the time is right
You’ll see
I’m good for it, I tell you
When I strike it rich, there will be a foam-covered bat for each day of the week
My calendar will fill immediately but there’s always time for you
I want to evolve until it feels like everything is moving backwards
Until the numbers become one mass teetering on the brink of zero
Tumbling through the fractions in between
Grab a number and take your seat
The good times are set to roll
They’ll roll over you like a turbocharged steamroller, if you’re not careful
Chisel a hole into the foundation
Spray paint your name across the frame
Place your personal agenda on a flyer and let the sun bake it on permanently
I’ve got more troubles than I’d like to admit
The kind that kill sunshine in the middle of the night
Burn down all traces of myself to the ground
Vulnerable to my own scrutiny and guilty in the eyes of my inner peers
I've always been fascinated with dictionaries and who makes up the crap within their covers. Now I know. I walked into the workplace and coined a phrase myself. BOOM! Right on the spot.
The new word/phrase for the English language is "Toiletesque." To use it in a sentence, "The Longfellow building smells rather toiletesque today." And it does. It’s sort of a mix between a toilet and sauerkraut.
I am the F-word.
Page after page of unparalleled horror
Reactions run across the spectrum
Spilling into every crevass and covering every speck of available space
I feel ashamed to be of the same species
Shit happens and hope floats.
Why is the alphabet in that particular order? Who decided that A ranks higher than V or even the taildragger of the bunch, Z. Does A have better PR people or does Z just not give a shit? Maybe Z was taking a pee when the order was being decided and due to the tardiness, the alphabeticians threw it at the ass end of the alphabetic conga line as punishment. Once a few kids learned the song, the writing was on the wall and it happened to be written in many a classroom for all to see. We can probably blame the songwriters of the Alphabet Song for this bullshit.
Most things in life progress, change, and often grow larger. Perhaps we could use some more letters in the alphabet. I don’t think we have enough squiggly letters. How about a new letter that adds a few more kinks and curves and makes a cursive E look positively silly. On the other side of the coin, do we even need 26 letters at our disposal? I might be willing to give up on a few just to simplify life a tad.
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